Fact: More unwanted-pregnancy prevention = less unwanted-pregnancy termination.
Therefore: More contraception = less abortion.
Have you ever heard of an anti-contraception person who was pro-abortion? I haven’t. You’d think the pro-life folks would be all over the contraception wagon. There’s no need to terminate a pregnancy if you prevent it from happening in the first place. Everyone agrees on this point, I think… it’s just the method of prevention that’s contentious. Social conservatives want everyone who doesn’t want to have a baby to just not have sex. How’s that working out for you guys? That’s like telling the entire male population that they can no longer have bacon. They like bacon waaaaay too much to just give it up, especially if there’s a way to prevent the unwanted potential bacon-eating side effects.
I’ve gotten a little off-topic. The point is, we’re programmed to like sex… the species wouldn’t have taken off like it did a few million years ago if sex was a chore. (I know, I said ‘million years’ and I alluded to evolution. This is not a religious belief thing, this is an I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong thing. Period.)
Opinion: A bunch of celibate octogenarians probably aren’t the best people to be telling the world how to have sex. Just sayin’.
The Catholic Church is against contraception in all its forms, and I can’t fathom why. We are in the midst of 2 relevant crises these days: a population crisis and an economic crisis. Women who don’t want children and/or can’t afford to care for them should be lauded for not wanting to add to the problem. Also that thing about the use of contraceptives negates the need for abortions in the first place.
Fact: Telling teenagers not to have sex (for whatever reason, health or hell, it doesn’t matter) does not make them not have sex.
Addendum: Scary disease photos only work for a limited time, i.e. until a hot piece of tail walks by.
Fact: Not educating teenagers on sex, sexual health, and sexual safety does not make them not have sex.
Addendum: Ignorant teenagers are still going to have sex, they’ll just do it wrong, i.e. hurt someone, get an STI, get someone pregnant.
The problem here is the fundamentally flawed assumption that there’s a way to get teenagers to not have sex. Let’s replace that with a more logical and scientifically-based assumption (teenagers will have sex) and re-evaluate the problem. The thing to do is to educate them on how to do it safely and responsibly.
Some mind-blowing ideas about how this should go:
1. Sex is not shameful. Being irresponsible about it is.
a. Let’s help re-direct the peer pressure. If having sex without a condom got you socially shunned the same way that wearing the wrong kind of shoes did, unsafe sex would be virtually non-existent. Social terrorism is a way of life and, manipulated properly, can be a very effective way of changing behaviour. Teenagers are completely predictable that way.
b. By creating an atmosphere of shame and awkwardness about sex, we (as the responsible adults) are just as culpable in the STI and teen-pregnancy game. Shame isn’t genetic, it has to be taught. If teenagers weren’t getting the shame and awkward vibe from adults, they’d ask a lot more questions… and wouldn’t have to turn to trashy paperbacks, Cosmo, and porn for answers.
2. Teach girls to be assertive.
a. If you are uncomfortable with something, say ‘no’ and mean it.
b. Make boys earn your consent.
c. Consent can be revoked at any time.
d. Ask for what you want. This is one situation where being entitled is ok.
e. You deserve safe sex. Demand condoms. If the boy whines about it, walk the fuck away. And then tell all your friends that he whined about wearing a condom. Zero-tolerance policy, ladies.
f. Get to know your own body before you expect someone else to know what to do with it.
g. It’s supposed to feel good (physically and mentally). If it doesn’t, you’re doing it wrong.
h. A lot of these things pretty much require you to be sober. Huh. Imagine that.
3. Teach boys to expect girls to be assertive.
a. No means no. No means stop what you’re doing immediately.
b. CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT.
c. You have to earn consent and then work to keep it (meaning it can be revoked at any time).
d. If a girl is drunk off her ass, she cannot consent.
e. Verbal consent, boys. Revealing clothing is not consent. Provocative behavior is not consent. Being drunk is not consent.
f. Condoms are not optional. If you whine about wearing a condom, the girl will get up and walk out… and then tell all her friends that you whined about wearing a condom. Nobody will ever sleep with you. Ever.
None of this is new, ground-breaking, or even particularly creative. It’s all pretty common-sense stuff, but it requires a fundamental change in the way we think about sex, teenagers, and the interaction between them. Teenagers are basically kid brains trapped inside adult bodies that are neck-deep in adult hormones. It’s like someone driving a car without even a rudimentary course on how to drive (which pedals do what, the importance of seat-belts, etc). It’s gonna be messy, and it’s very likely that someone will get seriously hurt. A little Driver’s Ed goes a long way.
Addendum: Ignorant teenagers are still going to have sex, they’ll just do it wrong, i.e. hurt someone, get an STI, get someone pregnant.
The problem here is the fundamentally flawed assumption that there’s a way to get teenagers to not have sex. Let’s replace that with a more logical and scientifically-based assumption (teenagers will have sex) and re-evaluate the problem. The thing to do is to educate them on how to do it safely and responsibly.
Some mind-blowing ideas about how this should go:
1. Sex is not shameful. Being irresponsible about it is.
a. Let’s help re-direct the peer pressure. If having sex without a condom got you socially shunned the same way that wearing the wrong kind of shoes did, unsafe sex would be virtually non-existent. Social terrorism is a way of life and, manipulated properly, can be a very effective way of changing behaviour. Teenagers are completely predictable that way.
b. By creating an atmosphere of shame and awkwardness about sex, we (as the responsible adults) are just as culpable in the STI and teen-pregnancy game. Shame isn’t genetic, it has to be taught. If teenagers weren’t getting the shame and awkward vibe from adults, they’d ask a lot more questions… and wouldn’t have to turn to trashy paperbacks, Cosmo, and porn for answers.
2. Teach girls to be assertive.
a. If you are uncomfortable with something, say ‘no’ and mean it.
b. Make boys earn your consent.
c. Consent can be revoked at any time.
d. Ask for what you want. This is one situation where being entitled is ok.
e. You deserve safe sex. Demand condoms. If the boy whines about it, walk the fuck away. And then tell all your friends that he whined about wearing a condom. Zero-tolerance policy, ladies.
f. Get to know your own body before you expect someone else to know what to do with it.
g. It’s supposed to feel good (physically and mentally). If it doesn’t, you’re doing it wrong.
h. A lot of these things pretty much require you to be sober. Huh. Imagine that.
3. Teach boys to expect girls to be assertive.
a. No means no. No means stop what you’re doing immediately.
b. CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT.
c. You have to earn consent and then work to keep it (meaning it can be revoked at any time).
d. If a girl is drunk off her ass, she cannot consent.
e. Verbal consent, boys. Revealing clothing is not consent. Provocative behavior is not consent. Being drunk is not consent.
f. Condoms are not optional. If you whine about wearing a condom, the girl will get up and walk out… and then tell all her friends that you whined about wearing a condom. Nobody will ever sleep with you. Ever.
None of this is new, ground-breaking, or even particularly creative. It’s all pretty common-sense stuff, but it requires a fundamental change in the way we think about sex, teenagers, and the interaction between them. Teenagers are basically kid brains trapped inside adult bodies that are neck-deep in adult hormones. It’s like someone driving a car without even a rudimentary course on how to drive (which pedals do what, the importance of seat-belts, etc). It’s gonna be messy, and it’s very likely that someone will get seriously hurt. A little Driver’s Ed goes a long way.
No comments:
Post a Comment